June 30, 2015

Goodby, Goodbye, Goodbye… (to my bike)

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 11:48 am

On Thursday 28th May 2015, some despicable little scrote stole my mountain bike (value around £500) from outside the St. John’s Offices building in Leeds City Centre. From the start, I decided to stay constructive – I wasn’t about to see my property again, but I really, REALLY wanted to see said scrote answer for his crimes.

The traditional, law abiding method of doing this here in Britain is to involve the police, so that is precisely what I did as I trudged toward the railway station that evening. I’ve gave them chapter and verse about the bike, every detail I could think of. I also made damned sure they understood that this theft took place in front of  the “LeedsWatch” cameras.

LeedsWatch are a separate agency from the police – probably part of the local authority – but the police naturally use them to gain access to the recorded footage of happenings within the city centre.

Imagine my surprise then, upon asking the police to gain the footage of my bike being taken, to be told that this was apparently not a reasonable use of police time. Really? Theft? £500? Having grilled the police a little more carefully, it seems they have a policy whereby they will not ask for footage unless the victim can specify when the offence occurred to within a tolerance of 15 minutes.

You read that correctly.

The justification offered is “We can’t have people viewing hours of footage” – to which my response is two-fold:

  • Have the council staff at LeedsWatch do it, and
  • It doesn’t have to take hours. Check cameras at noon – if the bike is there, it was taken in the afternoon. Check at 1430. If the bike is there it was taken late afternoon, if not it was taken early afternoon. Five or six times around this process and you should be staring at Mr. Scrote in glorious high definition.

You see, I’m more annoyed not by the loss of my bike (which has ticked me off somewhat to put it mildly), but by the failure to even begin to investigate the crime. I don’t demand results – those to be fair are beyond the control of the police – but I do expect them to a least try to investigate! A failure to do so is a plain invitation to other thieves to have a field day because, apparently, cycle theft isn’t worth bothering with in Leeds.

Finally, I have had to really chase both the Police and Leedswatch to get any sort of response out of them. Both have outstanding correspondence to address, but it’s clear to me now that they simply aren’t even going to extend the simple courtesy of a reply. I’ve tried to speak with a Sergeant or above to discuss this, but apparently the control room people don’t have the ability to talk to a specific officer unconnected with my case (the Sergeant who is connected with it was off duty).

I suspect your noses have gotten longer folks…


April 9, 2015

“Can I have a word with you for 10 minutes?”

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 12:28 am

So I’m sat at my station in the office when my line manager pops his head over my shoulder, and asks if he can have a word for 10 minutes. Well, he’s the boss, so of course he can have a word. I stand up and follow him away from my desk. For someone who wants a word, he’s not saying a lot… So, we walk off our floor, down onto a different level in the building, and into a little meeting room. I notice the head of HR is waiting for us, and also that a colleague has been brought down for what I assume is a somehow connected discussion. What the hell is going on?

“I’m going to read from this pre-prepared script…” Really, at this point I don’t really know what is happening, but I’m thinking either some form of disciplinary meeting, or I’m being made redundant. I think of my colleague in the adjoining room – is there something we have both been involved with recently? Something we might have done that someone could have mis-interpretted? No – can’t think of anything…

Well, as the script comes out, the mystery is resolved – redundancy it is. We discuss how, now that the project I have been working on is nearing fruition, the company wishes to return to it’s more “traditional” staffing levels. I’m asked what I think, but the truth is that neither my line manager of the head of HR really needs to be troubled by that. What I’m thinking is “I have two kids and a fiancee to provide for – what the hell am I going to do?”…

Eventually I am asked what personal effects I have brought with me, as my manager is now going to return to my desk and gather my belongings together before I am shown off the premises. Excuse me what? “Shown off the premises…”. 15 minutes ago I was trusted with the source code from the entire enterprise, and now I can’t be allowed to visit my desk. Heavens knows what the powers that be are afraid I might do…

Whilst my manager heads up to gather my belongings, I find myself left sat with the head of HR. To give her credit, she tries to make conversation, sympathetic noises etc – but there is nothing of comfort or practical benefit she can say, and we both know it. We’re left exchanging pleasantries until my manager returns…

We shake hands, and he then escorts me downstairs. I look at his eyes and I can see he is having a crap afternoon. I’ve been told that seven people are caught in this redundancy, and I suspect that I am not the only person my manager has had to go through this with today. The guy looks gaunt, and I’m torn between fury at how the company is now treating me, and sympathy for the guy. At the end of the day he is simply following defined procedure, and probably doesn’t want to be here any more than I do. I break the awkward silence to tell him that I know this isn’t personal, and that he’s just following procedure. We arrive in reception, where despite the pleasantries they are careful to see that I step out of the door…

Walking across the car park I encounter a group of individuals who have clearly been through the same experience I just have. They look a little angry, just like me – a little bewildered, just like me…. We can’t believe what has happened, noone can make any sense of it. We talk for five minutes or so, and then part ways.

If I ever find myself working in a position where I have influence over redundancy procedures, I will do a better job of it than my previous employer. I was left feeling guilty, like a criminal. The reality of the process of course is that you ARE being cast aside, but there has to be a better way to do it than this. Not having the chance to say goodbye to colleagues properly, as opposed to over social media, really stings. The truth of the matter is that most people when made redundant are not hell bent on revenge – they’re in shock – and it wouldn’t hurt to treat them as as human beings…

Having gotten to my car, I started to drive toward the school where my fiancée works – this isn’t the kind of news I want to pass on over the phone. I called a good friend to let him know what had happened, and then started out into traffic… As I head out onto the motorway I’m still quite shocked, and to be honest a little angry as well – but then it occurred to me that this attitude isn’t going to fix anything. I needed to be more constructive about things, so whilst I am driving back to Doncaster I place a call to my preferred recruitment agent – Gravitas Recruitment in Leeds. Over the course of the next few miles I explain what has happened, that I am looking to find a new role quickly, and my minimum requirements in terms of a salary. After listening to me for a few minutes, James (my recruiter) says “Right. I’ve got this. Go pick up Rachel, go home, sleep and we’ll talk in the morning…”. Still somewhat shell shocked, I decided that is exactly what I would do.

Rachel, bless her, was a star. It would be wrong to say she wasn’t worried, because she was – but there was no blame. All I received from her was support, and a determination that whatever was coming, we would face it together. I tried not to get too preoccupied with thoughts of “how do I feed these kids?” – but truthfully that was bouncing around in my head and wouldn’t go away… The first night of redundancy is probably the worst, because you have a million things running through your mind, and no idea what you are going to do about any of them because you haven’t really had a chance to start planning how you are going to address the situation. I didn’t get much sleep, and although she claimed to be fine, I doubt Rachel did either.

Come the following morning, and I get a telephone call from James asking if he can come out and meet me. I invite him to my home, but probably for safety reasons Gravitas prefer to do their business in coffee bars and other public places. We have a nice coffee bar in the village, so I arrange to meet James there later in the morning. Unfortunately a few minutes later he called back to say he couldn’t make it, and asked if I might meet him in Leeds City Centre instead. Well, having nothing better to do, I agreed – finished my coffee and caught a train.

Meeting James was a big relief. Tall, perhaps a little younger than I had expected, the guy exuded confidence. He told me to stop worrying – that the market was in my favour, and that recently he had turned around people in my situation in three days. He’d already sent me details of some suitable positions to examine on the way over, and it was clear to me I was dealing with someone who had an active interest in making things happen. In other words, he was precisely the kind of guy I needed in my corner. He asked for a period of exclusivity, which I reduced somewhat before I agreed to it – if I didn’t have decent leads in the next week or two then I would have to open my search to other agents. I was also keenly aware that a number of former colleagues were passing my details to their own recruiters, and I didn’t want anyone to feel slighted by not taking up their offers. Strange of course, but that is how I felt at the time…

Over coffee we discussed my requirements, expectations, and availability for interviews. Availability was an easy one – I kept my suit ironed and ready, and would be out the door on a moments notice… I left the meeting with James confident that if nothing else I had made a decent attempt at starting to get a job search on track. Over the course of the next week, I had interviews almost every day – often two the same day. Things went well, and I interviewed like crazy until things came to a pause of the Easter holidays.

At home though, things were far from ideal. Rachel and the kids were great, but something was wrong because I was having serious trouble sleeping. It would be wrong to say that I was constantly worrying about the situation we were in, but it must have been kicking around my subconscious because I simply could not get to sleep. Most nights I would try to lie in bed with Rachel, but would end up sneaking downstairs to watch TV, grab a warm milk etc, return to Rachel and stare at the ceiling some more…

I developed a chest infection, and at that point decided that I needed some help, so I went to see the local 8 while 8 doctor. He prescribed me some antibiotics to deal with the infection, some other pills to help with the acid he thought was causing my sleeping difficulties, and gave me some general advice about getting a good night’s sleep. I came away thinking all was fixed, but of course that night still couldn’t sleep…

In the end, I decided that if my body was determined to crash down like this, then I would let it – so I just waited it out until I was unbelievably tired, and went to bed early in the evening by myself. Sleep at last! I don’t pretend to understand what was going on with my body or mind through this period, but from that night forward, I was able to sleep. This episode was one of the strangest experiences in my life though, because I knew there was no reason why I should not be able to sleep, and yet simply couldn’t do it. It was the first time I have every really felt “out of control”, and was a very unpleasant time.

Once Easter passed, it came time to review where we were in terms of the results of the interview process. I started with an interview on the Tuesday morning, and as usual made a point of getting into the city a good hour before I had to, just to make sure I was there on time. I like to arrive at interviews relaxed and 20 minutes before they are scheduled, and I find being in the area an hour before to be the only way to achieve this.

As luck would have it, my walk to the interview would take me past Gravitas’ front door, so I put in a call to see Usman, James’ manager who was handling my case while James took some well deserved annual leave. In that meeting, Usman informed me that one of the companies I had previously interviewed with was prepared to make an offer, which would at least match the package I had received from my previous employer. This came of course as a massive relief, and as soon as I left Gravitas I called Rachel to tell her the good news – that we were now secure, but it was just a matter of seeing what other companies might be prepared to offer as well…

I attended my arranged interview, together with another one arranged at the last minute later in day… Whilst travelling home, I was informed that another two companies, including the one I had interviewed with that morning, were also making offers. Without revealing too much, I should be starting work again next week, and will be making an extra couple of thousand pounds per year than I did in my former role. I’m looking forward to the challenges to come, and this is very much the happy ending…

Sort of.

What I would like to do is to share some advice, so that hopefully someone else finding themselves having this nightmare experience might benefit from my own experience and approach.

First of all, don’t get mad at your previous employer. It’s not easy, but at the end of the day no good will come of it, and it only serves as a distraction. You don’t need the distraction, you have a job to find – so draw a line under things and move on. Besides, it only makes things tricky for your friends who remain with the employer…

Next, be constructive, positive, and act. Brooding isn’t going to help, so by far the best option you have is to take the situation by the horns and address it head on. Your new job is finding your new job – so get on with it.

Social Media is a tricky one… As I was introduced to the door the head of HR made clear her view that I ought not to criticise the firm on social media… One subconscious effect of this is that I didn’t really mention my redundancy on social media for some time – which of course I was able to do without attacking the company, and so could have done on day one. I’ve helped a lot of people in my career, and once I made public the fact that I had been made redundant (by which time I already had the offers in place…) I was amazed by the number of friends and colleagues whose immediate reaction was to try to help me. People were prepared to talk to their managers about upcoming vacancies… One former colleague asked me outright if I wanted an interview with the company he worked for… It rapidly became clear to me that I should have engaged my social network on day one.

At home, keep in mind what’s important. My situation was initially dire, but guess what? My girls were healthy, my partner loved me and we have supportive families. My initial fears about how do I feed these kids? The simple truth is that if I couldn’t, then our parents, together with an uncle to whom I am already deeply indebted in my life, would have come to the rescue. I wouldn’t have liked it, but the fact is that the kids were never going to starve… I have an acquaintance who is married with three daughters and is in a fight with cancer he is far from certain to win. Having lost a job, whilst a serious problem, pales into insignificance compared with that…

In terms of interviews, don’t be afraid to be yourself. People often seem to take on a special persona at interviews which is both fake and easily spotted by a good interviewer. Be yourself, be positive, and be honest. When I have conducted interviews myself, an answer I really respected is “I don’t know”. It takes a certain strength of character to recognise that, and can usually be easily addressed.

Be early for interviews – personally I always like to be sat in reception at least twenty minutes before the interview is scheduled to begin. You might be seen early, you might have to wait, but at the end of the day the interviewer sees that you have taken steps to ensure you attend on time. This speaks of preparation and planning – neither of which are negative impressions!

Finally, keep this in mind… I have personally been made redundant three times in my career. On each occasion, initially things seemed bleak, but looking back all three occasions saw me progress into better positions with better pay… Redundancy is a problem, but if properly addressed hopefully a temporary one, and the grass is usually greener on the other side.

April 7, 2015

Did anyone else hear that bang?

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 7:54 am

That was the unmistakable sound of VB.Net being taken out back and shot in the back of the head. Some might argue this is a kindness, a loving final act to a faithful companion whose time has come, but that’s an argument for a different time. The fact is, the shot has been delivered.

The shot takes the form of Microsoft’s decision (which I learned of from DotNetRocks) to not support VB.Net on the new Asp.Net vNext infrastructure. Apparently Microsoft feel that VB.Net developers as a community don’t tend to use the latest and greatest kit, have metrics in terms of project creation stats to back this up, and have therefore decided not to support VB.Net on Asp.Net vNext – or so the story goes…

This will lead to some perfectly justified wails of despair from the VB community. After all, when it comes to just abandoning a development technology and pulling the rug out from under a development community, Microsoft has form. It’s doubly tragic that for the most part the people who were historically affected, ie. Visual Basic 6 developers, now find themselves in line for the same treatment once again…

For me, it’s not the fact of the decision that is of interest, but the reason offered to justify it. Overlooking that vNext is going to be a massive part of the future of development on the Microsoft stack for now, I’m struck by the notion that this justification could be employed to exclude the Visual Basic community from just about anything.

The death knell of VB.Net has been firmly sounded. It sucks, but there it is… Anyone in the VB.Net space should in my view now immediately cross train in C#. Got technical assets you would like to take with you into the future? Well you need to be at least asking the question whether or not you should be considering a migration away form VB.Net. Whatever your views on C# as a language, it seems we live in world where there is safety in numbers, and where it doesn’t pay to straggle too far behind the herd…

December 17, 2014

Ah – TV Licensing…

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 12:43 pm

I keep seeing people online asking about how to deal with TV Licensing when they are “legally license free”, trying to do something about TV Licensing’s unreasonable habit of hounding perfectly law abiding people as though there were no tomorrow. I thought therefore that it might be helpful to some if I shared my own experience…

When I bought my current house, I wrote to TV Licensing and explained that as I would only be using the television set to watch pre-recorded DVDs, I wouldn’t be purchasing a license. They admitted that my position as described was perfectly legal, but then insisted that they would send an “enforcement officer” round to my property to check. The justification for this is that “when we go on-site, we sometimes find people didn’t properly understand their position, and do indeed require a license”. Unlikely, given I had been a part of a campaign against the license online for a number of years…

Still, they insisted. I wrote back and told them no, they couldn’t come over, and that until such time as I they were able to present me with some actual evidence of law breaking (they constantly claim in the popular press that they have the technology to do this), then I thought matters between us were concluded. However, TV Licensing weren’t done yet – oh no… I could be served with a “Magistrates Warrant” if I didn’t comply! Scary eh?

Well actually, no – not scary at all. For one thing since I wasn’t breaking the law at all, I had nothing to fear, save the inconvenience of the inspection. Amusing thought it would doubtless have been to watch them ferret around trying to justify their intrusion into the private life of an innocent man, they also have a habit of turning up with police officers in tow. I’m not scared of them either, but I wouldn’t want someone robbing an old granny down the street whilst the county’s finest were getting rather bored in my living room – so something had to be done.

Here’s the thing about Magistrates Warrants – they are only supposed to be given once a number of conditions have been satisfied. I would like to discuss a couple of those conditions…


Evidence has to be laid before the magistrate that demonstrates that it is likely an offence has taken place. Now, in practice it seems a lot of magistrates don’t pay much attention to this one – either granting warrants without any further thought, or accepting things that appear to be evidence, but really aren’t. For instance, “I observed flickering lights from the suspect’s living room, and as I walked down the garden path I noticed huge TV playing with several people watching…”. Indeed – they were watching a DVD… See – evidence of nothing.

The point here is that, if you do find yourself dealing with a Magistrate’s Warrant, always go back and challenge the evidence upon which it was granted. This serves two purposes – firstly it allows you to show that TV Licensing are acting improperly, but far more importantly it just might wake up a few magistrates to what is going on.

Reasonable Access

Another condition of granting a Magistrates Warrant is that TV Licensing have no other alternate “Reasonable Access” – and it’s this condition that I used to get them to shut up once and for all. I wrote to them and told them that they could come round whenever they liked, totally at their convenience and with no requirement for advance notice, so long as they brought with them a receipt for a £20 donation to the local children’s hospital. If they did that, guided tour, otherwise they could continue to sod off. A few days later, I got a letter from TV Licensing stating that they accepted that I wasn’t breaking the law, and that was the last I heard of them.

Of course, this tactic only works if you’ve got the confidence to risk a magistrates warrant, which if you are truly legally license free, you should have. I never needed to worry about it, but there are also a couple of things you should think about in terms of preparation for a warrant visit.

First of all, record the visit. Modern mobile phones are quite good enough for this task, but you want a video record of the entire visit. If they claim to have found something later, you want to be able to get out the video and demand “Where?”. There have been cases where TV Licensing appear to have presented fake evidence to the court (see the Shakespear case), so a good solid video is in the interest of both yourself and justice!

Next, TV Licensing are very keen on their 178 form, which details any problems they claim to have found within your property. It is essentially an admission of guilt. I propose that you should really equip yourselves with a “Confirmation of Innocence” form. It should have space for the TV Licensing staff to record anything they find of concern, but otherwise should contain the provision that “No evidence of an offence being committed has been discovered during our visit”, and a nice space for the TV Licensing Representative to sign. Why is this needed? Well, sadly it seems that in a minority of cases TV Licensing staff haven’t been above just inventing evidence on their forms. Having a declaration that all is well, and the chance to challenge it should they not agree, is a massive protection here for the householder…

Withdrawl of Implied Right Of Access (WOIRA)

There has been much debate online about the efficacy of this tactic for people who are generally license free, with the commonly held view being that:

  • TV Licensing staff do not respect it, and
  • It only serves to flag you up as a person of interest to them.

Personally, I have mixed feelings. I suspect both of the above are true, but didn’t really have a problem with being “brought forward” for the magistrates threats etc. As I mentioned before, my set up was totally legal, and I had nothing to  fear from magistrates. Being “brought forward” just brought things to a head sooner, which was a bonus for me. You might well feel differently though, and might well be nervous about having magistarate’s warrants served against you – which is perfectly understandable. If that is the case though, then WOIRA is not for you…

In conclusion, you should not allow yourself to be intimidated by TV Licensing or the tactics that they employ. Fight back! Don’t take this crap lying down… You can try and be nice with them, let them know your situation etc, but it won’t make any difference at all because they’ll not believe any information you provide and will insist on sending someone out to inspect your home. Personally, I was offended by the notion that I should be required to prove my innocence – that’s not how the law works here… I won’t play those games.

If you want any further advice on dealing with TV Licensing, my all means leave a message in the comments and I will see what I can do…

November 14, 2014

A Life Less Ordinary…

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 12:04 pm

Ever think that our lives are a little humdrum, run of the mill periods with few meaningful achievements?

Well, this morning as I drove into work I caught “Desert Island Discs” on the radio, and, it being their 3000th programme, they’d put a little effort into finding someone worthy of the honour…

Step forward one Captain “Winkle” Brown… I had the pleasure of listening to an interview with this chap last year, so I had some idea of what I was getting.

Amongst Brown’s achievements in his life:

* In 1937, he’s taken up in a plane, and told he has the temperament to become a fighter pilot – by a former World War 1 fighter ace. On Germany’s side!

* When Britain declared war in 1939, he was an exchange student – in Germany. He was arrested by the SS, who escorted him to the border, and let him keep his sportscar!

* In 1941 he joins HMS Audacity as a naval pilot. Audacity is sunk by a German U-Boat, leaving only two survivors. He’s one of them.

* He then gets involved in testing and researching carrier landings – commonly regarded in aviation as one of the riskiest manoeuvres there is. By 1943, he’s performed over 1,500 of them on 22 seperate carriers. He still, even now, holds the record for the most carrier landings a pilot has ever achieved.

* In 1943 he gets involved in training Canadian pilots in carrier landings, though not on carriers. He arranges a return favour where they take him along on actual fighter missions in return… BALLS OF SOLID GRANITE!

* Despite everything else he was doing, he also found time to involve himself in a minor little skirmish known as “The Battle Of Britain”!

* He then gets involved in evaluating captured enemy aircraft. Being wartime, he gets by without the luxuries – like training… He just makes do with whatever manuals he finds lying around in the aircraft!

* His superiors are so in awe of his performance that he’s immediately sent off to become a test pilot. In his first month alone, he flies 13 different *types* of aircraft.

* He performs the first ever landing of a twin-engined aircraft on a carrier. The stall speed of the aircraft is 30 knots above the maximum landing speed for the carrier. Not a problem – Winkle’s on the stick!

* He becomes the chief naval test pilot…

* Test pilots like pushing the envelope, and Winkle is no exception. He gets involved in high velocity projects, and flies at Mach 0.86! Don’t think that’s remarkable? He didn’t use a jet! This guy did it in a spitfire! Wood and canvas for heaven’s sake…

* Diverted to RAF Cranwell in bad weather, he accidentally meets Frank Whittle – inventor of the jet engine. Frank knows a good thing when he sees it – and asks Winkle how the jet engine can be improved for naval use!

* In September 1943 he performs a carrier landing without the arrester hook in position (down to a faulty indicator light, not down to Winkle). The resulting crash into the crash barrier shears off the undercarriage and shreds the propeller. Winker himself of course is made of sterner stuff, dusts himself down, and walks off UNSCATHED!

* In February 1945 he’s shown a helicopter, and taken up as passenger. A few days later he’s sent to RAF Speke to collect one. Of course, this being Winkle, there’s no need to bother with any of that tedious “Learning to fly a helicopter” malarky. The mechanics throw him a “large orange-coloured booklet” to read, and off he goes – IN FORMATION!

* As the European war is winding down, he’s sent off to a German airbase in Denmark to collect some enemy aircraft to look at. Sadly, the allied troops who are supposed to be liberating the base get delayed, so as Winkle touches down, this is a fully operational German airbase. The German commander does the only sensible thing, and surrenders to Winkle immediately!

* As a German speaker, and has someone who isn’t exactly known as a shrinking violet, he interrogates several of the officers at the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp following its liberation…

* He’s quite an effective interrogator – so much so that after the war he also “interviews” Wernher von Braun and Hermann Göring. Of course, he still needed to get around – so he takes Himmler’s personal aircraft…

* When Geoffery DeHaviland is killed testing his DeHaviland 108, someone needs to recreate the powered dive at close to Mach 1 he was performing at the time. Sensibly enough, they decide to ask if Winkle might be free… Winkle is cheerfully getting on with the business of performing a power dive, at Mach 0.88, at only 4’000 feet when all hell breaks loose – the aircraft shuddering so violently that Winkle’s chin is banging off his chest. This would kill a regular mortal – but Winkle sees the Lord by appointment only – so he recovered the aircraft!

* When the navy decided to perform the world’s first ever landing of a jet aircraft on a carrier, there was no way they would even consider giving to job to anyone else…

* You know the steam catapult that the Americans use for flinging aircraft aloft from their carriers? Who do you suppose showed them how it worked?

* When it came time to resurrect German naval aviation, Winkle was sent over to supervise and provide guidance. The navy only had one plane that was exclusively for their use. They gave it to Winkle…

* When we wanted to persuade the Americans of the concept of an angled flight deck on aircraft carriers, we sent Winkle. Nine months later, the Yanks built it.

* He wasn’t just a stick jockey either – rising to become a naval captain in 1967, taking command of HMS Fulmar, followed by naval air station (and later RAF) Lossiemouth.

* In his career, he has flown 487 different types of aircraft – and it’s important that we now define what a “type” is. For example, he flew fourteen different versions of the Spitfire and Seafire – but these are only regarded as one type. Also, the 487 count only includes flights where he was “Captain In Command”. Co-pilot doesn’t count.

* Obviously, he holds the record for the highest number of types of aircraft flown by a single individual. It’s generally accepted throughout the aviation industry that this record will stand until the end of time.

A truly amazing man, and I’m struck by the fact that I only learned of him last year, when I happened to be listening to “iPM” on Radio 4 one Saturday evening… The kids need to be learning about folks like this at school!

November 11, 2014

I don’t like what’s happening to VB.Net…

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 11:19 pm

When I started this blog, although I thought I’d end up covering a certain amount of politics and civil liberty matters, I actually thought that a good many of my posts would concern the day job – I work as a software developer writing software using the “Microsoft Stack”. As events have occurred, rather than trying to post a set number of technical articles within a set period, I’ve pretty much only blogged whenever something has annoyed me enough – or if I’ve had information to impart concerning #TwitterJokeTrial, #DaftArrest, or the fortunately inimitable Nadine Dorries MP…

My career as a software developer has basically come in three stages – initially I was writing software using Visual Basic 6, then I was writing VB6 but occasionally getting to dabble with VB.Net, and these days I code almost exclusively in C#.

Why do I work in C#? Well, it would be perfectly reasonable to say that both my current and previous employer require developers to be able to work with C#, so if I were being lazy I could claim to have been pushed into it – but the truth is I deliberately sought out positions which would allow me to move away from VB.Net. Why? Well, the writing appeared to be on the wall… Most serious developers can adapt to use another language when they have to, and a lot of people were making the move away from VB.Net to C#. The syntax was more concise (ever tried writing LinQ queries in VB?), employers were paying slightly more for it, and although Microsoft has maintained a commitment to both languages, having lived through the process of VB6 being taken out back and shot, invalidating vast swathes of work as they did so, I didn’t want to nail my colours too firmly to the mast of what seemed like an increasingly leaky ship…

Unfortunately, VB.Net developers now seem required to operate under a sort of stigma, as second class citizens in the .Net development world. It shouldn’t be so – some wonderful things have been written in VB.Net by some wonderful people – the language is every bit as capable as C# (though not as nice!). There are a lot of big systems out there that depend on VB.Net, so I was rather alarmed as I drove to the office the other day to discover commentators including it on a list of “five dead languages”. Even with my C# hat on, that seemed a little unfair… Now I discover that SharpDevelop, an open source IDE I have used for years, has decided to no longer support VB.Net development in it’s latest version… That speaks volumes for what some very well connected people in the industry think of VB’s medium term prospects…

Perhaps the writing is indeed on the wall again for Visual Basic developers – and if this is indeed the case, then it is a tragedy. It shows that, as an industry, we have learned nothing… Once again we will have major business systems out there in the wild with an ever dwindling pool of developers prepared to maintain them. It’s a particularly cruel blow given that a lot of people who got shafted at the end of VB6 chose to migrate their systems to VB.Net – and are now going to have to consider migrating again.

My advice to anyone (and I have a number of former colleagues from earlier in my career who fit the bill) still working exclusively in VB.Net is to start learning C# now. Today. It’s not because you’re uncool, or smell of wee, or old timers – it’s because I’d like to think you’ll all still be employed five years from now. It’s not that hard, so come on in, the water’s lovely…

October 29, 2014

Utterly shameful

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 12:15 am

It seems that the government has decided, on behalf of all of us, that Search and Rescue operations in the Mediterranean to rescue migrants making the crossing from Africa to European shores should no longer be supported. Apparently the possibility of rescue only encourages more and more migrants to make the crossing…

You know, every once in a while, just now and then, I am ashamed to be British…

The migrants on these boats are desperate. They have no resources whatsoever, having been cleaned out of anything that they did have my the organised gangs that run this “trade”. Even having paid up, and boarded a hopelessly overcrowded vessel, they risk being sunk by the very people they paid to take them over the water. Why would they do this? Simple – drowning isn’t as bad as what lies behind them. They are desperate.

To decide not to engage in Search and Rescue efforts, to allow people to drown in an attempt to influence the migration figures in the direction you want them do go is utterly, utterly shameful. It is not an act worthy of a civilised country. There can be no excuse for it, and no justification, whatsoever.

Moreover, it is illegal. The right to life is the most basic right in the European Convention on Human Rights. It is a human right – an absolute, intended for all human beings everywhere, and not merely those standing on the correct side of some arbitrary line drawn on a map.

My predictions, made now on 29th October 2014, are that within five years we will have a case European citizens being left to perish at sea because they were mistaken for immigrants. Time will tell…

There are babies on those boats. I don’t want to be a baby killer, I don’t want the government to kill babies on my behalf, and I sure as hell will not vote for any party that supports baby killing as a means of budget control.

October 9, 2014

Carmarthenshire County Council – Are you £ucking kidding me?

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 1:07 am

Following the events of #DaftArrest I continue, to the annoyance of many at Carmarthenshire County Council no doubt, to keep abreast of the latest happenings over in the People’s Democratic Republic of Carmarthenshire – and this month’s full council meeting contained a bit of a doozie!

Last month, we started seeing Councillors ask questions in the full council meeting. The format is very simple – a member asks a pre-prepared question, and the leader responds with an equally pre-prepared answer.

Now, in most public forums, having asked a question, the questioner is afforded the right to ask a supplementary question – usually used to respond to information provided in the initial answer. There are a lot of good reasons for this, and somewhere near the top of the list is that it “gets things done” – you don’t have to wait until the next meeting to be able to respond to the information provided. This prevents many items of business from being discussed over the course of several meetings, which of course brings benefits in terms of the speed of decision making. Decisions taken early can mean cost savings through a lack of uncertainty…  It also, from a transparency point of view, puts whoever is proving the answer in the position not being able to have an evasive response pre-prepared. Many people would consider this practice therefore to be a good thing.

Sadly, the ruling junta at the Council appear to take a somewhat different view – that being that since the standing orders don’t state that supplementary questions are allowed, they therefore are not allowed. Now, to be clear, the standing orders make no pronouncement either way – they are simply being interpretted, in common with many dictatorial regimes around the world, as meaning that “something is only ever allowed if we say it is.”. Followers of the #DaftArrest case might find this eerily familiar, as the whole case started with powers that be deciding that filming Council meetings was prohibited on the same grounds.

As I pointed out in the comments of one of the local blogs, there is nothing in the standing orders that entitle the Chief Executive to attend the meeting if he has failed to strip off first and paint his body blue like a smurf – though somewhat mercifully it seems that common sense can be applied in this case. Why not in others then?

But I’ve saved the best until last – because at this month’s meeting of the council, the councillors themselves took a vote on whether or not they should be able to ask supplementary questions – and voted NO! This wasn’t about such questions being mandatory – merely “should we have the right to ask them?”.

The Council is ran by a coalition of the Labour Party and the “Independents” – effectively a party themselves. Someone needs to be asking the Labour Party, a party which after all would like us to seriously consider the prospect of offering them the opportunity to form the next government, just what the holy fuck they are doing here – because their councillors supported this vote not to allow supplementary questions. On what grounds? When, as a councillor representing your electorate, is it a bad thing to be able to ask a question? The answer seems to be when the ruling cabal might find said questioning and the scrutiny it brings inconvenient.

Is this not, as a councillor, precisely when you damn well SHOULD be asking questions?

June 27, 2014

We have a little problem out the back of the office…

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 10:33 pm

I’ve noticed an equipment failure at work, and thought it would be serve as a nice illustration of some of the problems we regularly experience in IT.

What convoluted software based menace lies at the heart of our troubles? Well, none – this is a hardware issue actually – we can’t change the toilet roll on the toilet roll holder in the gent’s toilet. It’s not because we’re thick – we are by the very nature of the job we do creative souls who aren’t afraid to sit around and dream up both cunning and elegant solutions to the problems in our lives. It’s not for lack of trying – because it turns out most of us have encountered this issue, noted the problem, but only recently did we come together and face our collective shame.

Here’s the problem – some idiot, when they designed the toilet role holder, did so in such a manner that the centre piece that should be removable to enable it to be placed through the toilet roll tube is fastened into the assembly using hex bolts at both sides. End result, if you don’t bring a hex key with you, you’re not changing that roll.

My first thought here was to laugh at the engineer who designed it, who quite clearly had not ran his/her product through User Acceptance Testing for more than a couple of days, in which time the problem would have become self evident. It’s important, whenever you deploy any new system / feature, to keep the specification in mind, and to keep in contact with your users to make sure things pan out as they ought. If you don’t talk to your users, sure, you’ll still shift a few thousand units of your bog roll holder – but someone else will come along with new “Easy change” technology and take over your whole party. That sucks.

So I was feeling quite glad about the fact that some Buisness Analyst / Tester out there had dropped a bit of a clanger, when I started thinking a little more professionally. How had the engineer who designed the thing managed to get so absorbed (pun intended) in the problem of holding a toilet roll that they never stopped to consider how it might be changed? Had they become so set in their bunker mentality that they genuinely thought all office cleaners carry hex keys? For that matter, did they believe that the roll is always changed by cleaners – because it rarely is. How close was the engineer to the problem – did they really take the time to understand how their little contribution truly slotted into the whole “office based lavatorial services” system?

There are parallels to be drawn here between designing toilet roll holders and designing software – and as professionals we should not be above a little impartial self evaluation and criticism. Do we truly understand the customer, what they need to achieve, and how best to achieve it. We shouldn’t be afraid of saying “No” – there’s value to that and we can learn from it. Passing unit tests is not the same as passing THE test, and we need to pay a little more respect and attention to our colleagues in Quality Assurance when they tell us that although we’ve met the acceptance criteria, they just “don’t like it”. If our own people have reservations, what’s the customer going to think?

Another lesson here, pointed out by one of my colleagues actually, is that the engineer is not necessary to blame for toilet-roll-gate. Who’s to say that we haven’t ordered a product that is actually quite deliberately designed to be difficult to change? I’d imagine such toilet roll holders are common place in prisons for instance – who says we haven’t mistakenly ordered the wrong product? Slipping back to the parallel universe of software design, that’s something else we have to be careful of – Is what the customer is asking us to build really the best solution for all their problems? Can we do better? Can we engage with the customer, make improvements to the product, but still not have to make a version covered in blinking LEDs and switches just because they said they wanted it? Do they REALLY want it?

It turns out, we all have value in the process of software development. BAs, testers, developers, customers and the people who actually change their bog rolls (in other words, the users) all have an important contribution to make. Who would have guessed?

There’s something else to be considered here as well – because despite the fact that all our talented BAs, testers and developers in the office are now aware of the problem, no-one has tried to fix it. No “Easy change” roll holders have been ordered, and the people who have the power (of which we might only dream) to do that were not included in the conversation. Instead, we’ve agreed on our own little workaround procedure – we leave a few rolls on top of the cistern. How many systems out there in the field also contain such well intentioned modifications, and no longer function quite how their designers, their responsible managers, and their users actually expect? How much is that costing IT every year?



Blindsided on a Tuesday morning…

Filed under: Uncategorized — madaxeman @ 9:52 pm

I won’t go into details at the moment, but these are stressful times for my family right now. My step mother is being held on intensive care, and at the start of matters a couple of weeks ago, things were so serious that we had to consider the possibility of losing her. Thank deity of choice that hasn’t happened – and although she is still on Intensive Care, things are hopefully on the right path. She has a long recovery ahead of her, is unlikely to be out of the hospital for literally months, but she WILL be coming out.

Life has a way of throwing experiences at us that we can learn from, that challenge how we think, and make us reassess what’s important in our lives. For a son, it’s not easy to hear your father so upset- and I suspect not easy for a father to know he witnessed it, but it showed how someone I thought so unflappable can be dealt a massive blow by an instant change in fate. I’m not knocking my Dad either – he’s coping “alright” – but if you or I think we would handle the situation any better, we’re fooling ourselves. There is no way, three weeks ago, that we could even conceive of the situation we are in now.

For the record Dad, don’t sweat it – you’re human, so am I, and you’re entitled. I’m bloody proud of the fact that you’ve held it together, especially in front of the grand kids, but also that you care so deeply for your wife. That’s a strength, not a weakness. We might not agree on everything, but never doubt for a moment that I KNOW you have her best interests at heart.

We’re just coming out of the scary phase, but the truth is that the real challenges are likely to come once my step mum returns home. There are going to be massive obstacles to overcome, and it’s not going to be a picnic, but she’s better off than a lot of people when it comes to the people around her. So here’s the deal Jill – do your bit. You pull through, so will we…






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